10 Things You Should Never – Ever – Say to a Gerbil

10 Things to NEVER EVAR Say to a Gerbil!*

We’ve all been there.  We’re hanging out with a friend, and they ask, “Hey, do you want to see my Gerbils”?  And you’re like, “Why not.”  Gerbils are beautiful creatures, and also happen to be quite sensitive, and so for the purpose of respecting these wonderful creatures, here are 10 Things You Should Never – Ever – Say to a Gerbil.

(1) Live Long and Prosper

Everyone knows that gerbils only live 2 to 3 years.  Don’t rub it in their faces and act all high and mighty because you get the chance to make 100. Uncool.

(2) If you applied yourself, you might be able to eat more than sunflower seeds.

Gerbils like sunflower seeds. If they made more money, they would probably just buy more sunflower seeds.  Just asking this question makes you look ignorant.

(3) Have you ever tried running out of that wheel?

The wheel is a safe place to run as fast as they can.  Could you run up to 6 km/hr if you were their size?  I didn’t think so.  So get off your high horse (er, car) and let the little guys enjoy the wheel.

(4) You look lonely. Don’t you have any friends?

Its not a gerbil’s fault when an owner disregards that they are social animals that need to have a buddy of the same sex to grow up with from very young.  They probably didn’t realize, either, that rival gerbils later in life, could be seen as threats, and fights to the death will most likely occur.  That’s the OWNER’S fault, not the gerbil’s! Leave him or her alone!

(5) Thump, much?

Yes, all the time.  When nervous or excited.  What about it?

(6) I have a dog that shows so much more affection.

Gerbils aren’t dogs.  Pretty sick of everyone comparing gerbils to dogs.  Not a fair comparison, considering one is a rodent and the other is a canine.  Seriously, big difference.  IF you want a dog, get a dog.  Gerbils are great in their own right.

(7) Oh, how cuuuuuuutttttttte, snookems is so tiny.

Really.  Tiny?  That little guy may be the biggest gerbil on the block.  And you call him tiny?  Size is relative, and you really need to meet more gerbils before you call him or her tiny.

(8) How is the “Empire”?

Not all gerbils are from Mongolia, but those that do are still a little sore about losing out after Khan influence waned.  I’d steer clear of the subject just to be safe.

(9) When I retire, I might enjoy living life so easy and free like a gerbil.

Gerbil life is hard.  You try and exercise in a little nest box; and that is if you have a wheel.  Not to mention all the chewing, and thumping, and eating, and …reproducing.  It is seriously exhausting and No, you don’t want to make retirement like being a gerbil.

(10) How man gerbils does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  Anyone?  Anyone?

This one’s getting old.  Let’s just end it.  But for the record, it would take 10 gerbils.


*I am making fun of lists by making a list of my own.  Hope you had fun.  Check out the rest of my blog, which is more serious.



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